That Vegan Dude

I could not help but post That Vegan Food—a knock-off on Green Eggs and Ham, vegan-style. By Jeff Ryan Peters

That vegan dude
That vegan dude!
I do not like
that vegan dude.

Do you like
the vegan food?

I do not like it,
vegan dude.
I do not like
the vegan food.

Would you like it
by itself?

I would not like it
by itself.
I would not like it
for self health.
I do not like
the vegan food.
I do not like it,
vegan dude.

Would you like it
not obese?
Would you like it
for world peace?

I do not like it
not obese.
I do not like it
for world peace.
I do not like it
by itself.
I do not like it
for self health.
I do not like the vegan food.
I do not like it, vegan dude.

Would you eat it
full of spice?
Would you eat it
with some rice?

Not full of spice.
Not with some rice.
Not not obese.
Not for world peace.
I would not eat it by itself.
I would not eat it for self health.
I would not eat the vegan food.
I do not like it, vegan dude.

Would you? Could you?
raw and cold?
Eat it! Eat it!
Be so bold.

I would not ,
could not,
raw and cold.

You may like it.
You will see.
You may like it
with chickpeas?
I would not, could not with chickpeas.
Not raw and cold! You let me be.

I do not like it full of spice.
I do not like it with some rice.
I do not like it not obese.
I do not like it for world peace.
I do not like it by itself.
I do not like it for self health.
I do not like the vegan food.
I do not like it, vegan dude.

With cheese! With cheese!
With cheese! With cheese!
Could you, would you
Daiya cheese?

Not Daiya cheese! Not with chickpeas!
Not raw and cold! Dude! Let me be!
I would not, could not, full of spice.
I could not, would not, with some rice.
I will not eat it for world peace.
I will not eat it not obese.
I will not eat it by itself.
I will not eat it for self health.
I do not like it, vegan dude.

Soy!
With fake meat?
Or made with beet!
Would you, could you, with fake meat?

I would not, could not,
with fake meat.

Would you, could you,
almond milk?

I would not, could not, almond milk.
Not with fake meat. Not Daiya cheese,
Not raw and cold, Not with chickpeas.
I do not like it, dude, you see.
Not not obese. Not full of spice.
Not for world peace. Not with some rice.
I will not eat it by itself.
I do not like it for self health!

You do not like
the vegan food?

I do not
like it,
vegan dude.

Could you, would you,
fresh green juice?

I would not,
could not.
fresh green juice!

Would you, could you,
no excuse?

I could not, would not, no excuse.
I will not, will not, fresh green juice.
I will not eat it almond milk.
I will not eat it Daiya cheese.
Not with fake meat! Not with chickpeas!
Not raw and cold! You let me be!
I do not like it full of spice.
I do not like it with some rice.
I will not eat it not obese.
I do not like it for world peace.
I do not like it by itself.
I do not like it for self health!

I do not like
that vegan food!

I do not like it,
vegan dude.

You do not like it.
SO you say.
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try it and you may I say.

Dude!
If you will let me be,
I will try it.
You will see.

Say!
I like the vegan food!
I do!! I like it, vegan dude!
And I would eat it no excuse!
And I would eat it fresh green juice . . .
And I will eat it almond milk.
And with fake meat. And Daiya cheese.
And raw and cold. And with chickpeas.
They are so good so good you see!

So I will eat it full of spice.
And I will eat it with some rice.
And I will eat it not obese.
And I will eat it for world peace.
And I will eat it by itself.
Say! I will eat it FOR SELF HEALTH!

I do so like
the vegan food!
Thank you!
Thank you,
vegan dude.